Meanwhile in Cuckooland 84

What should you do, if you needed money to support your election campaign? Well, apparently, if you are from PiS, you could use the fact that some of your people work for Polish Red Cross, and make a side-business, selling donated second hand clothing and pocketing the money. This scandal has been a public secret for a long time and apparently could not be ignored any more by the prosecutors. Strangely enough, it’s really hard to find one who would like to go ahead with the investigation: already a second prosecutor assigned to the case, after complaining about being pressured, gave up and asked to be relieved from her duties and sent back to her previous job. That means, she was rather willing to be demoted, and had her salary cut significantly, than to continue investigation in that matter…

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But of course only the cases when PiS is accused for the crime are so hard to bring to the courts. Otherwise the system works better than ever. For example a thief, who stole a luxury Audi, just a few hours later discreetly parked it outside one of the police stations. He checked the glovebox and found the documents, showing that it belonged to Marta Kaczyńska, Jarosław Kaczyński’s niece. Someone said once “In the efficiently functioning police state there is no need for the police”. Does it mean, that we are there already?

But PiS are not like some ordinary criminals. They never back down, even if they are caught red-handed. In last week’s piece we informed that the opposition sued prime minister Morawiecki for lying about them not building any roads and lost. But they appealed, and the final verdict forced him to apologize for at least some of the things he said. He observed the ruling and published the apologies on national TV in the form of a board with a text read by female voice actor, which sounded a bit weird, when she said “I, Mateusz Morawiecki…”. What PiS does? They lie even more, trying to convince everyone, that he in fact won that case. They are faithful to the teachings of their leader, Jarosław Kaczyński, who once famously said that nothing will convince them, that “white is white, and black is black”. Adam Bielan says, that there were three rulings, and only the final one was in favour of the accusatory, two lower courts ruled in favour of Morawiecki, and therefore he is a winner, as 2>1. God have mercy for us, this guy is a deputy speaker of the Senate, and he does not understands how law works… And of course an attack of Donald Tusk never gets old – Ryszard Czarnecki, PiS MEP said that Morawiecki is most trustworthy person, unlike Donald Tusk, who should have a long nose like Pinocchio already.

If life was like a fairly tale, then PiS politicians would need to be really careful to do not peak each other eyes with their long noses during party conferences. It has emerged recently, that election committee of Andrzej Duda paid to a company called “El Chupacabra” to run an internet campaign for them. While Andrzej Duda ensures, that this was only about moderating comments on his website, it is pretty clear to everyone, that they were simply paying their army of internet trolls, and were stupid enough to put it on the official financial report. Which caused a stir, as according to the Polish law, every sponsored content related to the elections has to be marked as paid for by the electoral committee… I wonder how big percentage of the Polish Twitter would have to display information “sponsored by this or that election committee”…

In other news: have you noticed, that for some time we haven’t reported any new crashes caused by the government drivers? You could think, that they got wiser and started to drive with some common sense. But no, apparently it’s only that other drivers got more careful, as the government drivers are still trying very hard to kill someone, as you can see on that dash-cam movie captured by some random road user forced off the road by another government limo driven by a maniac:

Apparently, the government drivers are not taught to show some respect to the other road users. But don’t worry, there are some groups who are taught to respect others. A school girls in Poland are prepared for the challenges of their adult lives, and even the potential situation in which their boss is trying to take advantage of them is covered. This is the advice they are given:

First of all, treat him with respect. Let him know, that his interest in you is flattering, but it would be even nicer, if he respects you. Never be rude, don’t show him that you are disgusted: he might feel humiliated and hurt, he might seek revenge. Respect that, he might feel offended by your refusal. Be nice!”.

And what if that won’t be enough? Well…

“You ask the Almighty, who makes miracles in the situations like that. He can “shake” the heart of your abuser, who will finally let you alone and even start to respect and value you. Purity is always worth it”.

This is an excerpt from the book entitled “Life to the max: the handbook on romantic and sexual life” given to the children during the school workshops. The author is Jean-Benoit Casterman. Or rather “father Jean-Benoit Casterman”… Because, of course, the best experts in the matter of sexual and romantic matters are Catholic priests, right?

But should you really know anything about something you want to spread your opinion of? In Poland, apparently not. There was a discussion in one of the talking heads program in Polsat TV, in which six politicians discussed the new movie from Wojtek Smarzowski in which he shows the darker side of the Polish clergy. Near the end of the program, the host asked, who saw the movie. It turned out that none of the men, who had so strong opinions about it, have seen it yet…

Which seems to be quite unusual. As I predicted in last week’s article, “The Clergy” is to become one of the biggest hits in history. During the first weekend, it has been seen by 930 000 Poles – this is the best opening in 30 years. Some Multiplexes screen it up to 20 times per day, and I personally experienced it’s popularity when I wanted to book tickets to see it in Scotland, where I live. It turned out despite it being played in two biggest cinema networks, two weeks before it hits the screens I was unable to find a single screening in Glasgow when me and four of my friends would be able to sit together – all of them had been fully booked, or at best had a few single seats somewhere in the corners remaining. Finally, I managed to find one screening booked only in half – in the town 20 miles from Glasgow… This is definitely not normal for foreign subtitled movie in the UK. But good for Smarzowski – for once someone will be able to make some money on the Polish clergy, as usually it is the other way round…

In Kraków, for example, the city council pressured by the clergy just amended the local zoning plan, making it possible to build a complex of high rise building inside one of the city’s ventilation corridors, thus blocking the air exchange in one of the most smog-ridden cities in Europe. But who cares about public health, the important thing is that the land belongs to the Dominican Order, and is now worth much more, than it would be if only low rise buildings were allowed there…

This is not the only case in which local government changes its plans in such a way that a few chosen ones benefit at the expense of the locals. A course of planned express way near Radom has been amended as well. In the old project, the road was to run through some barren lands, passing the villages in some distance. In the new project, the road will go by a strange loop finished with the sharp bend, cutting the village in half (which would require for several houses to be demolished). The locals points out that the new plan makes the road going through the plots belonging to the local oligarchs, including some PiS MP’s, so they can get some money from the compensation payments…

Some changes are taking place in Rzeszów as well. Recently there was a grand opening of the newly built bus station there. There were speeches from the V.I.Ps, cutting the ribbon, brass orchestra and generally it was a great celebration. Except that it was premature – the bus station is nowhere near from being finished, the first passengers are expected to be able to use it in January. But the local elections draw close, and the president (surprisingly not from PiS) was desperate to show some success…

Not everyone is proud of their achievements though. Adam Adamczyk, minister of infrastructure, was the only government minister without higher education. But he no longer is, as two years ago he graduated from University of Social Sciences in Olkusz. Strangely I did not managed to find his Alma Mater in Shanghai University ranking, it does not even has it’s Wikipedia page, but I am pretty sure that to swiftly obtain a master’s degree from even a lesser known university would be an achievement for someone, who at the same time works full time as a government minister. Many people share that view and would like to read his dissertation, as surely it has to be an exceptional work, but the university refused to disclose it. One of the journalist sued it on the grounds that this is a public information, and the case is now in the Highest Court of Administration. The minister himself is unable to help, as allegedly he does not remember not only the topic of his dissertation, but even in what field of study he obtained his qualifications…


But who knows, maybe he just really, really wanted to get this master’s degree? Some would think that to get the degree you should study hard, pass exams and write a good dissertation. Then if you wanted to become, say, a professor, you would have to continue your work, have a lot of academic achievements, publish books and so on. But some say that to get something, it’s enough to just want it really, really bad, and it will become true. And it can indeed become true in Poland, if you are from PiS. Or at least an advisory to president Duda.

Dr hab Andrzej Zybertowicz for example really wanted to be a professor. Such decisions are made after seeking opinion of fellow academics from the field. And what they think about his academic achievements?

Prof Marcin Król points out, that since 1995, Andrzej Zybertowicz haven’t really published anything really significant or even of good quality. “His academic works are few, and their conclusions are so underdeveloped, that it’s hard to discuss with them. But they exist. Andrzej Zybertowicz puts his candidacy to become a professor and it’s hard to refuse him that right” – he wrote. And so he supports his candidacy.

Even better is an opinion of prof. Szymon Wróbel, who wrote “I condemn his academic work” but then added that “once unleashed, the will to become a professor is unstoppable. If Andrzej Zybertowicz thinks, that there are reasons for him to be awarded a tenure, then I suppose there are some”. And he also supports his candidacy.

What if I really, really wanted something? Is my will also unstoppable, and the state institution should accommodate me despite lack of merit? Could I also become a professor? Or a Champion of Poland in motorbike racing? Or at least a princess?



This piece was published in Britske Listy
Collage designed using public domain pictures (Pixabay and Wikipedia). 

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