Meanwhile in Cuckooland 153

My dear readers! Hold on tight, as today is a special day. While doing my research I always try to show balanced view, but usually searching for the positive things one can write about PiS is a futile task. But not this week! There is one PiS MP that one can only has a praise for him. Meet Marcin Porzucek, a little known PiS MP from Piła who, after hearing that local hospital’s call for volunteers was met with just one response, volunteered himself and for two weeks already spends few hours a day takes some burden of the healthcare staff by performing simple tasks such as disinfection of door knobs and furniture, clearing the dishes after meals or cleaning the toilets. I never expected to write those words to anyone in PiS anymore in my life, but I have to do this: Mr Porzucek, you got my respect!

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And he is not the only one in PiS who understood what is the most important thing during the pandemics. You might remember from my last weeks piece that despite the need of social distancing, the ski centres will remain open? Well, we know now that it was in fact the president who intervened to keep them open. Duda is a keen skier, and with not much to do (because how much time you need to sign those pieces of paper that Kaczyński wants you to) he is known to spend a lot of time in the mountains during the winter season. With the Polish resorts closed, it would be hard for him to go abroad, so PiS politicians see nothing wrong with this. “President is a ski-lover, so it’s in his interest for the ski-resorts to remain open” – explained Ryszard Terlecki, a speaker of the parliament. What a shame we don’t have a president who is a law-lover, so he could ensure that the constitution is observed by his party!

Because there is no hope for the Constitutional Tribunal to do it’s job. Julia Przyłębska, a chairwoman of this institution formerly known as such and now commonly called by the media and experts “Przyłębska’s Tribunal”, said that the rule of separation of powers in Poland has been indeed breached… By the EU parliament that condemned her ruling on abortion rights. Incidentally, she’s not bothered by the fact that judge Igor Tuleya has just been stripped of his immunity (he’s going to be prosecuted on some silly charges as a revenge for his critique of the changes to Polish judiciary) by the Disciplinary Chamber of High Court – the illegal body that has been suspended by European Tribunal of Justice. Or by the fact that people are stripped of their right to justice – like opposition activist Arek Szczurek, who sued TVP journalists for slander, only to find that a PiS-friendly judge has been “randomly assigned” to his case so the case was closed before any of the sides was even allowed to speak.

Meanwhile the protests continue, with ever growing police presence. In Mszana Dolna 3 protesters were met with the crews of six police vehicles (it’s good that Poland is so crime-free country, that the cops have nothing better to do). Luckily, this time it was peaceful, unlike in Warsaw where police attacking peaceful protesters become a daily occurrence. Recently another opposition female MP has been pepper sprayed by a cop:

The police lied, saying that the officer used the pepper spray on her because she tried to broke through the police line, or that the cops felt in danger because of her. The latter claim was quickly ridiculed by the meme that circulated the internet:

Today a further footage emerged, showing that it was, in fact, the police who surrounded the MP and peppersprayed her, when she tried to show her ID to the police:

Meanwhile PiS, when asked about police brutality, uses the argument that “Police in France brutally repressed the yellow vest strikes as well”. What they forgetting to tell is that in France, police officers who abused their powers have been already trialed and sentenced – some even to lenghty jail time. In Poland, meanwhile, the government disciplines those, who don’t want to persecute protesters – like a prosecutor from Warsaw, who was demoted for refusing to arrest a protester accused of assaulting the policeman (because she threw a cracker in his general direction, funny that nobody using pyrotechnical materials during the nationalists marches was ever arrested for doing so)…

The situation seems to be a stalemate, and PiS has seemingly only two choices: to backtrack on their politics, and admit that Przyłębska’s Tribunal is not a real Constitutional Tribunal, or by going full Lukashenko and answer to the protests with even more police violence. So far they seem to be sitting on the fence – they do beat protesters, but at the same time they are (illegally) refraining from publishing the ruling.

Meanwhile, there is a pattern that government could follow to dig themselves out of this hole. As you might remember two years ago it has emerged that somebody is building a giant castle on the lake in the forest, in the Natura 2000 protected area (read more here) where such investitions are illegal. The government, after it was not possible to drag the matter any more (during which time work on the castle continued) finally decided, that while the construction is illegal, it will be allowed to be completed. The only person who will bear any responsibility will be the official who allowed it to happen. Perhaps we can do something like that about abotion as well? We will say that it’s illegal, but still allow it to happen. Those are, apparently, the legal standards under the PiS rule.

And the chaotic ways of introducing new laws are not making the situation any clearer. It has emerged that the new anti-COVID bill (remember, the constantly upgraded gargantual legal act, into which everything is thrown in under the pretext of the fight with the pandemic) has now two articles numbered 48a. Lawyers can’t decide, if the new one, regulating paramedic right’s to take COVID samples from patients replaces the old one, punishing people who ignore social distancing regulations, or they should both be respected side-by-side.

And how is the COVID struggle going on? Well, the truth is: we don’t know. After government banned public access to that information (see last week’s piece), the official data shows drop in the number of infection – but nobody believes the government any more. The truth is that in bigger cities people have to wait for up to two weeks for the funeral, sometimes even longer: my mother’s acquitance died on 28.11 and his funeral have been set on 15th of December. And that despite the fact, that memorial services in the cemetery’s chapel have been radically shortened to speed the things up.

Government’s chaotic reactions continue to simply piss out someone else every day. Today’s pick is doctors and nurses: the new law granting 100% pay rise to medics involved in COVID response has ben cut in such the way that only mobilized by the government will receive it. Those, who work hard since day one are going to see nothing. Meanwhile after it had emerged last week that PiS’s flagship COVID hospital in National Stadium in Warsaw is just a Potiomkin’s village, the Ministry of Health distances itself from the project, claiming they had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Apart from that, the government is supporting the struggle in the classic, time served ways, such like giving another 2 billions to the TVP, government’s main propaganda channel. And all that while the government is desperately scrapping the barrel for money (but, simultanously, giving tax breaks to the companies that will work with the US Troops stationed in Poland). Seems that Zbigniew Ziobro’s long lasting idea of “preventive confistation” might finally get a green light. According to this proposal it would be enough for the prosecution to suspect you of criminal activity to take your property, estate, companies etc. away from you. Or from innocent people to whom you sold it. Yeah, I know that it might sound as a good idea to tackle the problem of criminals hiding their richies, but knowing PiS, it will end will the cops seizing your car, because 5 years ago you bought it from someone who is a critic of the current government, so they try to frame him into something. And to facilitate this, the government will gain insight into everyone’s financial affairs – the banks would have to disclose your financial information to the whole bunch of government agencies, from border guards to the military police…

Since most Poles can’t even hope to receive a proper medical care nowadays they might be looking elsewhere. Luckily, a new second-degree relic of Holy Pope John Paul II went on display in a small satellite town of Warsaw. It’s a silver Opel Vectra used by the pope as his private vehicle for 11 years. Alas, the car is displayed in a glass cage, so if you hoped to be healed by touching the holy wheel trim, kissing the holy windscreen wiper or inhaling the holy air from the pope’s own tires – tough luck. You can still probably try praying to it, though.

There is also a issue with a sports hall in Gryfice. Apparently when it was blessed 7 years ago, it was blessed by a wrong priest – one from Szczecin, instead of the local one – so the blessing is invalid and probably needs to be repeated. Apparently those, who say that Polish Catholic Church is like a mafia are right – we just have a chance to observe a turf war between don Kazimierz from Gryfice and don Wiesław from Szczecin. Will the streets of Gryfice see gangs of ministrants with water guns shooting holy water and throwing thuribles at each other?

If only the trees were growing faster… The State Forests just announced that they planted a cross made of the trees from the seeds blessed by the pope. I am yet to ascertain how such action is an appriopriate way to celebrate 75th anniversary of the local State Forest management office, but my guess is that it is to somehow make Poland a better country.

Because if we believe the current government, all evil in Poland could be reversed by turning back to the Christian ways of doing things. Luckily, we have experts in just the subjects we need, like Urszula Dudziak, a professor from Catholic University of Lublin (alma mater of our current Educational Minister). Dudziak was a guest of this series before, when we learned from her, that the contraception is the main reason of infidelity and divorces. Now, with the crowds of women manifesting on the streets for their rights, she was kind enough to explain to the viewers of father Rydzyk’s TV station how to be a woman in today’s world. So listen girls: you have basically two choices: you can be a mother, or you can remain virgin. If you choose the latter, you got two choices again: you can either do some charity work, or become a nun. There you go, and some say that women in today’s world face difficult choices!

Of course, the Polish Catholicism is too good to be kept just to ourselves, so we spread it all across the world. And so a Polish bishop of the Doumé-Abong’ Mbang diocese in Cameroon banned his flock from vaccinating girls with HPV vaccine. Because, you know, the virus is sexually transmitted only, so why would anyone unnecesarly vaccinate a young girl, who should not have sex anyway1. Especially if she choses to remain a virgin2!

Many Poles can’t wait for 2020 to end, hoping that next year will be better. Luckily, calendars are already available. True patriots my want to obtain a calendar published by a local dairy in Kamienna Góra, which remembers to celebrate all the patriotic anniversaries. Let’s take, for example, a page for August, celebrating the struggle of the Warsaw Uprising. Yeah, thousands of people died, and the Nazis razed the capital city to the ground afterwards, but cheer up, here is a cute pussy!

1 Unless with a priest, I guess.

2 Unless that choice has been made for her by the priest, I guess.

This piece was written for Britské Listy
Author of the meme unknown (but obviously based on the picture of Czarek Sokołowski)
Calendar: Spółdzielnia Mleczarska KaMos



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