Meanwhile in Cuckooland 174

“Ruthless attack of Watchdog on the Radio Maryja circle! Father’s Rydzyk’s university becomes yet another target! The dean says “We are being tormented. What’s the purpose of it?” – cries, extremely pro-PiS portal. So what it is about? Watchdog Polska, an NGO focused on providing citizen’s control by the way of obtaining public information fights Rydzyk’s empire in court – they want to see its financial information, pointing out that since he is a recipient of hefty government grants, the public money is involved, so the citizens have right to know how their money is spent.


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For Rydzyk, it’s an attack on him by the organization sponsored by foreign powers, including Soros, a Jew whose activities were banned from Hungary (and rightly so, seems to believe Rydzyk). Other evil forces attacking Radio Maryja are B’nai B’rith, a Jewish organisation. But Radio Maryja is not anti-Semitic, he says. “With good Jews, we have great contacts. But there are two kinds in every nation. Only Holy Mother is born from the Immaculate Conception, people can be good or bad” – he said.

And this is not the only attack on Christians recently. Actually, if we believe Catholic activists, they are the most persecuted group in the country. In Wilanów a brutal attack on the innocence of children took place. One of the residents hanged her laundry or her balcony, and it included her panties, which outraged a boy’s mother who asked her neighbour to do not to repeat that mistake in the future. “This is a Christian building, and our son should grow up without such temptation” – she wrote.

It seems like everyone just packed up and decided to make the life of Polish Catholics unbearable. NGO’s, a woman who wears sexy knickers and dares to wash them, and then all those people who attack a priest in Limanowa for conveying the church’ teachings to the children. Apparently, those leftist can’t stand the Christian message, such as the information, that homosexualism is a sickness, that can be caught after being seduced by an older gay man or from lack of successes in relations with women and that it can be cured with electric shocks, vasectomy or conditioning.

But the biggest blow came from your country, my dear readers. How dare you interfering with Polish affairs only to allow Polish women to sin? Czech weekly Respect informed that Antoni Wręga (charge d’affairs and de facto acting Polish ambassador in the Czech Republic, as Poland does not really need to have an ambassador in the neighbouring country and one of its most important parties, because why it would need to, right?) wrote a letter to the Czech Minister of Health in which he protested the new law being processed in the Senate that would make it even easier for Polish women to have an abortion in the Czech Republic. He pointed out that since Poland banned abortion, it might be an attack on Polish sovereignty. Of course, Czechs rightly told him to bugger off. Mr Wręga, if you did not want war with the Czech Republic perhaps you should think twice before invading that Czech church a year ago!

Meanwhile, the problem is serious. If Polish women cannot have an abortion abroad, even though it’s legal, because it is an attack on the Polish sovereignty, then I guess Boris Johnson should have a reason to worry. For most of the last 15 years since I arrived in Scotland, I worked – part-time, or full time – as a driver. I probably covered well over half a million kilometres while driving on the left – which, obviously, would be illegal under Polish Highway Code. I got a feeling that my case might heavily damage Polish-British relations… Or me, for that matter.

The Polish prosecutors don’t bother with such annoying details like borders between the states. Piotr Surmaczyński, a Polish diaspora activist in London has been invited to the consulate “in relation to the Polish prosecutor’s request to provide legal assistance”. It turned out, that he was put under heavy interrogation regarding the sexual life of Tymoteusz Szydło, Beata Szydło’s son and a former priest, whose rejection of priesthood has been associated with the rumours that he has become a father. The consul has been pretty aggressive. “I had a feeling that he don’t really know what his role is if he should interrogate me or threaten me” – recalls Surmaczyński. Apparently, the problem was in his Facebook entry, in which he jokingly congratulated Beata Szydło of becoming a grandmother. As Surmaczyński recalled he was asked how does he know, that Tymoteusz Szydło had a baby with a woman. He answered that he based this assumption on scientific consensus, as according to biology only women can get pregnant. He referred also to his own experiences as a father and after being asked further question admitted, that he feels a bit awkward discussing young Szydło’s sex life with the members of a Polish diplomatic corps. He was then assured that he has “nothing to be afraid of, as he won’t end like Jamal Khashoggi”. I don’t know if that calmed Mr Surmaczyński, but I am telling you: if I will be asked to “provide legal assistance to a Polish consulate”, I am not going.

I guess Mateusz Morawiecki is also not too keen to answer any potential citation from the Supreme Audit Office after it has emerged that it is not Jacek Sasin, but the prime minister himself who last year wasted 70 000 000 zł on the illegal elections that never took place (actually it seems it was more like 80 million). But at least the writer Jakub Żulczyk, who faces jail time for calling president Duda an idiot, should be less worried now. The president is persistent in providing evidence that Żulczyk’s claim is totally valid – just yesterday he made a fool of himself when he celebrated 100. anniversary of Silesian Resurrection. And no, he did not mean anything related to necromancy, or – although that might come as a surprise – about Easter Mass in Catholic Church. He is just an idiot who does not understand what a difference between resurrection and insurrection is.

But the biggest fuzz in recent weeks in Polish politics was negotiations regarding EU Recovery Plan. As PiS coalition partner, Ziobro’s Solidarna Polska was against it, Kaczyński lacked the majority to push it through the parliament. The opposition, notably Platforma Obywatelska, has been completely incoherent, sending mixed and contradictory messages. On one side they said that Poland needs to be part of it, from the other, they did not want to vote with PiS on the issue. They somehow imagined that if they refuse to support it, Kaczyński will come begging to them, and then they will be able to force him to make a U-turn on the most important element of his take-over of the democratic institutions. Of course, that would never happen, so the Lewica tried to negotiate with Kaczyński themselves. After all, they had nothing to lose by entering the talks, as they wanted to support Recovery Fund anyway, and if they would be able to trade something from Kaczyński in exchange for their support for the vote, that could be seen as an added bonus. On the other hand, by obstructing the vote they would not only risk that the EU will go ahead with recovery fund without including Poland into it, but also provide ammo to the PiS propaganda, that could claim that it’s the opposition who is anti-EU and prevents Polish citizens from obtaining European funds. While their achievements in negotiations with PiS are at best mediocre (and that only providing that PiS won’t just turn its back on their promises, as they usually do), it has been proven that they were right: PiS propaganda already pumps that message, they go so far as to claim that PO pushes for Polexit.

But the most unexpected was the attack on Lewica from PO. Its politicians, commenters and followers rushed to call Lewica traitors for stepping out of the line and negotiating with PiS, and tries to send a message that by entering negotiations with PiS Lewica endorses everything PiS does. The pinnacle of that idiocy comes from Tomasz Lis, influential journalist and editor of the Polish edition of Newsweek, known for his hard-core pro-PO stands, who went as far as to blaming Razem (one of the parties in Lewica coalition) for the fact, that a football game between Manchester and Liverpool had been postponed.

But where all that anger comes from? Is Lewica the only party that ever negotiated with PiS or agreed to vote in line with the government policy on occasions? No, PO itself did that several times before. So perhaps it’s about this particular situation? No, Lewica did exactly what Borys Budka, leader of PO, proposed just a few weeks ago.

The reason for this anger is that PO has no plan, no charismatic leader and no coherent strategy, and their whole existence in politics seems to be hanging on the fact, that they are the major anti-PiS force. They felt so sure of that position that just some time ago their announced their plan to create a widespread anti-PiS coalition – the only thing they forgot is to ask their potential coalition partners for their opinions on the matter. But for months now they lose support – both to Lewica and to the newly established movement of presidential candidate Szymon Hołownia and thus their claim to be a natural leader grows weaker and weaker. And Lewica, by going to negotiations on their own without seeking PO’s approval, just showed them that they are no longer the only major player. And moreover, the vast majority of Poles agree with Lewica that the EU Recovery Plan should be ratified, or at least that the opposition should not stand in the way of it.

Meanwhile, the whole fuzz made it possible to cover some much worse activities. Like the fact that Orlen – the Oil Giant controlled by PiS’ Daniel Obajtek that took over most of the local media – ignored the ruling of the court and its own promises of ensuring the independence of their newly acquired local papers – began sacking their editors. Or the fact, that – just as it happened over 200 hundred years ago when pro-European reformists who introduced the first European constitution had been betrayed by so-called Targowica conspiracy, in which the magnates acted together with Russia and the Church in order to overthrow the new order, which effectively ended in Poland losing its independence for 123 years – the church has betrayed us again.

The chairman of the Polish Episcopate apparently implemented “an act of enslavement of Poland into the motherly slavery of the Holy Mary”. From now on, apparently, Poland is supposed to “carry in personal, family, societal and national life not it’s own will, but that of the Mary and her son”. I don’t know why bishops think that they have the right to speak on behalf of all Poles, I don’t really get those slave-domina relationships either, but that brings the question: should church bring such kinky issues into the public domain?


This piece was written for Bristké Listy
Works used for collage:
lust4lthr (licence Creative Commons 2.0) via Flickr
Przemek P. (licence Creative Commons 3.0) via Wikipedia



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